The biggest obstacle to confidence

Can you guess the biggest obstacle to experiencing authentic confidence?

It's not your accomplishments, your success, or your promotions, though they certainly affirm your incredible brilliance.

It's not even how others respond to you or the 360 feedback you receive, though these can reveal valuable insights for your potential growth.

The real key lies in how you PERCEIVE your work, your success, and your relationships.

I once had a client who wanted to get coaching so he could feel more at ease when showing up in crucial meetings.

He shared, 'For years, I've felt this incredible pressure to deliver flawless work. I'm my worst critic, always concerned about how others perceive me. Despite my career successes, I'm still often overcome by this fear that others will poke holes in my presentations. I constantly worry that I'm just not good enough.'

The pressure to deliver in this tough economic and political environment is hard enough. Our fear center is further activated every day at work, triggering us to lead from a place of surviving rather than thriving.

The inner pressure and the judgments we make about ourselves, about how others might perceive us, and about the situation, can build or erode our confidence.

Faking confidence can only advance your career to a certain extent.

When you show vulnerability (instead of pretending you're okay), people are more likely to trust you more and become more willing to share how they feel and what they're uncertain about, which allows you to delegate more effectively.

There's such a liberating sense of ease and steadiness that comes from leading and living life authentically, because, let's be honest, self-criticism and self-doubt do not foster confidence.

Imagine being able to speak up with clarity, without holding back out of the fear of judgment.

Imagine being able to go after the work you are genuinely fired up by, without constantly saying yes to please others.

When deep confidence takes root, success flows more effortlessly, as you are no longer paralyzed by fear or indecision.

For many people, reaching that next level of leadership, grounded in a deep, authentic confidence, opens up new possibilities.

It certainly did for me.

I completely transformed my career and life by embracing my deepest, truest desires. It all starts with your why, as Simon Sinek has been preaching (we’ll cover this too in the workshop!).

In the past few years, I've had the privilege of helping many clients reach this profound level of confidence. It's transformed their lives.

• One left a corporate job and is now realizing her dream of launching her own startup.

• Another has achieved a truly balanced calendar, juggling family and career, all while thriving in a VP role.

• Another left a highly prestigious academic role to focus on growing her impactful nonprofit organization

• Another has skillfully navigated a brand new COO role she was afraid to step into.

Whatever your next bold career aspiration is, developing the skills to be authentically confident will transform the way you operate and show up.

Deep authentic confidence is the vehicle to freedom and choices.

It’s important.

Here are the steps you can take immediately to cultivate confidence.

1. Learn to recognize self-defeating thoughts in real time and reduce their impact. You are not your thoughts - you experience fear, and self-doubt, which are completely normal.

2. Become skilled at taking care of the part of you that thinks you’re not good/smart/kind enough to grow to the next level (whatever that means to you at this point of your journey). Stay open to your vulnerability with an intentional self-compassion practice.

3. Reframe imposter thoughts rather than identify with them subconsciously. Authentic Confidence is a practice. We each have our own barriers to experiencing it. It looks different for each of us, and we all need it for different reasons. Create the space in yourself for greater courage and hope to emerge.

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