How you can transform envy into inspiration

It's totally normal to compare yourself with other people. After all, we're conditioned to look for a benchmark on how well we're doing vs. people around us.

Comparison can even be a good thing if it's only done once in a while - it can be a source of motivation and a way to help you set goals for your career.

But if you constantly compare yourself to others, you are hurting yourself. Negative emotions and self judgement can take over. Your fear creates a convincing story that you're inferior, you feel envious and ashamed.

Once you believe that you're not as great as others, that you're not smart enough or capable enough, this inner storyline takes hold and it deeply erodes your career potential and joy.

If you hear that a colleague got promoted or someone in your team got nominated to speak at an internal forum and you didn't, don't let envy take the driver seat.

Don't let a disempowering, untrue, and unkind set of beliefs become a chronic problem.

Here's what to do:

1. stop and FEEL the envy; take 3 deep breaths. What does envy actually feel like? Where in your body do you feel it? Your belly? Your heart?

2. INQUIRE without blame or shame - get curious, what are you learning about your needs?

3. GET HONEST - what is it that you actually want? what do you truly value? what is your vision for how you want to grow and contribute? what is the impact do you actually want to have?

4. take a WIDER PERSPECTIVE - Your career is a portfolio of experiences and expertise/knowledge, an evolving continuum that extends past this moment in time. Remember that someone else's success is not a sign of your inferiority. There are many measures of true success, and the most important ones are not obvious or easy to observe - e.g. fulfillment, joy, sense of purpose.

5. CELEBRATE how far you've come already. Don't lose sight of how far you've come. Your 10-years ago self is impressed by you!

Catch yourself when negative emotions take over.

Transform envy into curiosity, and a fuel for inspiration and self improvement.

#saboteurs #comparison #leadershipmindset #leadershipdevelopment #leadershipskills