JOY IS BOTH THE GOAL *AND* THE PRACTICE
Where did we get the idea that our joy and wellbeing are *not* our most important goal and way of living our life? When was the first time your joy became your goal? It’s a question that makes me stop on my tracks, because for me, that happened somewhere around the milestone of turning 40. It was then when I started to take seriously the idea to explore what I really *want*, rather than what I *should* do.
To be honest, it was not convenient to accept I didn’t like my well paying and ego-rewarding job and career path. It was frustrating to admit that my career, where i spent much of my waking energy on whether at work or at home, didn’t actually make me feel happy. I beat myself up - tons of people would love to have my job, my experience, my income. Why wasn’t I grateful? Was I perhaps depressed? These are the questions that interrupted my thinking more and more and ignoring them didn’t do anything to undermine their power. I forced myself to find what’s good about my work. I forced myself to look at the reality of living in an expensive city and high mortgage. But joy has a way of lifting us up even when it’s not an intentional priority.
This year I’ve spend numerous hours coaching women how to gently but firmly face their motives, and what I found surprised me for some reason. So many of us have a single tracked mind rooted in and guided by fear. The fear of future us. The fear that we’re not doing enough. That fear forces us to do ever more, and if never feels like we do enough.
In coaching, we look at this fear; we look at our inner critic that this fear creates; we invite self compassion to the table; we practice empathy for others who might have our best interest in mind yet acknowledge that only *we* know in our gut what’s good for us; we practice building trust in ourself and the goodness of human kind despite what we see in media; we build a vision that represents our hearts’ desire; we practice healthy habits, to be our most powerful self. I’ve seen how over time my clients build self confidence, speak their truth and set boundaries, give themselves permission to embrace their joy and let go of old fears. I bow to their magnificence!
