YOUR EXPECTATIONS
In my early twenties I remember being told several times that my expectations are too high, that I set myself for disappointments.
I instinctively felt that setting my sights high was right. The idea of moving to the States was a pretty bold intention, and an unsupportive “friend” even asked me - “why would *you* be able to move and find a job there after college? Don’t you know there are millions of others wanting the same thing?”. I understood at a rational level that what she said was true. What was also true, was that I deeply wanted to move, so I did, less than a year after that conversation, manifesting my dream of exploration and adventure.
A few years later, a then boyfriend told me “you really should work on lowering your expectations; it’s not smart to expect so much from people.” Again, with a heavy pit in my stomach, I felt that message deeply, and understood that what he said made sense. Another boyfriend (my now husband) later told me, in much gentler terms, that it’s wise to have no expectations. On a rational level I again understood that point.
Of course we shouldn’t set ourselves up for disappointments and put so much weight on people, expecting them to act or be in a certain way. For one thing, that projection makes us close up from the experiencing life and people as they really are. That approach further limits us from building healthy relationships.
The practice of opening up to the possibility of our and others best selves is a desirable one, I found. What if, instead of calling it “expectation” we call it “intention”? That way we are more specific in recognizing that we have tremendous power over the way we choose to think and behave. We have power over our actions, not over others’ actions.
What’s *really* interesting, is that, actually, the way WE think actually influences OTHERS’ behavior. In other words, if we think the person in front of us is smart, they may actually act smart. Here is some really cool research that is rooted in neuroscience and quantum physics, showing the powerful way in which our expectations may influence others’ behaviors.
Let’s have the intention of an awesome day, expecting the best from us and others, projecting trust, faith, and positivity!
