THE INVITATION
Yesterday I found out that the very first race I signed up for is not 10k as I had thought. It’s 10 miles, or 18k. Also, the race is this Sunday. I never ran more than 6 miles, and I only did that once, a few months ago. If you’re a serious runner, 10 miles is not a real challenge, but it is for me. Even though I run every other day, I don’t consider myself a real runner. I’m out there to see the ocean and feel part of it.
For years, I used to come to the beach once a week, on Fridays, to look at the expanse of the ocean, to absorb its depth and peacefulness. I used to look at the surfers who were getting ready to get into the ocean, and thought they were made from a whole other material than myself. I was getting cold just looking at them. I really felt a lower grade human by comparison.
I later learned that I was practicing what psychologists call *Fixed Mindset* in which we believe our abilities can not change. Of course, those surfers had been working hard to get their courage and abilities to where they are now, and like me, they were probably cold when they undressed and out their wetsuit on. They put in the effort, they learned their craft, and they persisted until they got better. And no matter how good they got, they still get thrown out of their board ever my single time they get in the freezing, sparkling ocean. I watched them and they inspired me.
This morning I kept running past the usual spot where I turn back. I said to myself that while I’m not a fast runner by any means, I can certainly be a persistent one. I had heard someone in an interview say that “it’s not the absolute fastest runner who wins the race, but the one who stops the least.” For some reason, that saying helped me stay on course. I stopped a few times to look at the surfers, and then I pumped up the volume of my own efforts.
Eventually, I made it to the very end of Ocean Beach, a spot I’ve never been before all these years. I got to the rocky formation, and stopped to touch it, and took this video. I had only ran 3 miles. Then again, not long ago that was a distance I couldn’t even attempt. Amazing how our body adapts to new goals when asked to.
I figured I just have to run all the way back, so no biggie. Ran a total of 6.1 miles, and in the process I got lost in the run itself, few thoughts made their way to my brain, which was I guess only focused on getting me back to where I started.
I did some stretching, was grateful to my throbbing brain, feet, hips. When I got back to the car, I saw a couple of surfers who were also getting back to their cars. I realized I didn’t feel like an observer, a fraud, a passive observer, an amateur, an outsider. I felt one of them.
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I had read that self confidence is being built over time, when the critical Self observes our actions. When we’ve put in the effort, when we persist, the Self changes its mind about what we’re capable of. It’s the hardest thing to convince ourselves we are what we wish to be, which is why so many of us have the impostor syndrome, in that our doubts make us afraid we’ll be exposed, and make us believe we don’t belong or deserve.
But that is exactly how we gain self confidence, through the effort we put in towards a goal. That’s why there is no shortcut to self confidence and no hack to happiness. It takes time to practice our sense of purpose. Self confidence comes from learning something well rather than learning something fast. Our persistent efforts and actions are the tools to real breakthrough. That’s how we train our brain to believe we can do something. That’s how we cultivate grit. By persisting, over time, we eventually *believe* we can achieve our goal.
If you’ve got something you admire, something you aspire for, something deep down your subconscious has been focusing on for a while, I say please pay attention. It’s absolutely not impossible. In fact, if that dream has been there for a while, it’s a real invitation that’s awaiting your RSVP. Please accept it. You’re the guest of honor to the invitation of your own soul. Go meet it!
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