The “it factor”: executive presence
What if I told you the way you show up—in meetings, presentations, or even casual conversations—could open new doors in your career and amplify your impact?
Our technical skills and hard work are always emphasized, but I wish I had learned earlier in my career the “secret sauce.”
I’m talking about executive presence—that "it factor," a combination of confidence, clarity, and authenticity that earns trust and attracts attention. Sylvia Ann Hewlett puts it this way:
"Executive presence is not about being the loudest voice in the room; it’s about being the most compelling one."
If executive presence seems effortless it’s because it’s been cultivated
Think about a leader you admire who seems to effortlessly share ideas and is known for working well with others.
They’re clear and concise, say just enough without overpowering others, ask thoughtful questions and listen deeply, and consistently show up prepared. They are willing admit what they don’t know unapologetically, and navigate tough situations with composure and reassurance.
I hope you have someone like this in your team or org, because it’s so helpful and inspiring to see this type of behavior in real life. Sadly, healthy leadership is still not modeled in some organizations.
Many clients describe executive presence as the type of confidence that naturally draws people in.
If you believe executive presence is something you either have or don’t, let me dispel that myth: it’s a learnable skill anyone can practice and get better at.
As you transition into and fully embrace this new, elevated version of yourself, you shed old habits in the process. We are forever stretching, growing, and becoming. That’s why life is always a bit uncomfortable…
Recently, one of my new clients—an accomplished leader with more than one postgraduate degree from Harvard—shared this as a goal in his onboarding document:
"I aim to refine my executive presence and enhance my ability to make high-stakes, strategic decisions with clarity and precision. I want to strengthen my leadership capabilities, ensuring I guide my team through complex challenges, foster innovation, and drive our strategies forward."
I loved how he defined the use cases for executive presence: building trust, making clear decisions under pressure, and communicating effectively.
BTW I was so impressed with his education, experience, and eloquence that for a moment, I thought, gosh, how can I help this person? Comparison is such a common trap, right?
I reminded myself that we all have something unique to offer, it’s not a competition; hierarchies are an illusion. When we each play full out in our unique genius zone, we make a real impact.
Fear is the default, and we need to work with it
Self-doubt is normal, we all wrestle with it when we create something or put ourselves out there (don’t I know it? I’ve been rewriting this newsletter for hours ). It’s just a part of our humanity.
But when we’re not aware of our disempowering inner narratives, we hold ourselves back and play small.
Here are common fears I see in my clients (and sometimes from myself):
"What if I say something wrong?" (Fear of judgment)
"What if I recommend something that bombs?" (Fear of failure)
"What if I just don’t belong among these Ivy League-educated stakeholders?" (Fear of rejection)
"What if I just don’t have what it takes?" (Fear of inadequacy)
"What if I get asked a question I can’t answer?" (Fear of vulnerability)
Our inner hyper-vigilance creates endless “what-if” scenarios, trying to protect us from being hurt.
But here’s a truth: the goal isn’t to be perfect or the loudest voice in the room. It’s to be intentional and authentic.
It’s not about knowing all the answers—it’s about being centered, grounded, and trusting yourself, no matter what happens.
When you let go of trying to convince others and focus on being truly present in meetings or conversations, you build trust and influence naturally.
As Brené Brown writes:
"Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome."
Strategies to build your executive presence
This inner work and outer practice pays off, I see it over and over again.
One client recently shared that as she became more self aware, she got more clarity about her ideal leadership role, and felt empowered to pursue it. “A few months ago, I would have been just chugging along, assuming that at some point my boss would see my development and suggest a new role. I feel so proud of myself for being willing to ask for it.”
Another client shared that she’s able to show up more focused and organized, having clear agendas in meetings, and inspiring her team in ways she didn’t think possible.
To help you identify areas to develop, I’ve created a self-assessment worksheet - check it out.
Start with these strategies:
Practice self-awareness: Are you quiet in meetings out of fear of making a mistake? Is perfectionism or imposter syndrome holding you back? No need to change anything right away, just notice.
Communicate clearly and concisely: Stay focused on your main objective and top 3 key points. Avoid drowning in data and background to prove your expertise—meet your audience’s needs instead. Pause, check in, ask questions, and listen.
Develop emotional intelligence: Take a few mindful breaths before meetings, and check in with yourself. How are you feeling? What is your inner narrative about? Interrupt and reframe negative thoughts into empowering ones.
Show up with authenticity: Resist the urge to copy others—your strengths got you in that room. Trust your skills, your knowledge, your expertise. Allow yourself to be you, don’t fake it.
Prepare: Preparation builds confidence, so take the time to ask yourself what your audience needs the most. Research your audience’s needs and priorities. And if you’re stumped, say: “Great question—can you say more?” This buys time and invites clarity.
At its core, executive presence is about showing up as your best self, with intention.
What would it look like to show up fully? Imagine what’s possible when you embody your highest potential.
