The Power of Acknowledging and Validating
Think about a time when you felt overwhelmed or misunderstood at work. Maybe you were disappointed by a performance review, or you felt like your efforts were going unnoticed. In those moments, we don’t need someone to fix the problem right away—we need someone to say, “I hear you. And what you’re feeling is valid.”
True leadership isn’t just about guiding teams or making decisions—it’s about connection. And two of the most powerful ways we can connect with others, especially when emotions are running high, are through acknowledging and validating.
When emotions are running high—whether it’s anger, frustration, sadness, or confusion—what people crave more than anything is to feel heard and understood. I’ve seen firsthand how acknowledging and validating can diffuse emotional intensity and open up real, honest conversations.
What Does It Mean to Acknowledge Someone?
Acknowledging is about tuning into someone’s emotions and letting them know, “I get it. I hear you, and I understand where you’re coming from.”
Let’s say you’re talking to someone who’s frustrated after working so hard, only to be passed over for a promotion. You could say something like:
“I hear you saying that you’ve given so much of yourself, and you’re feeling overlooked. Is that right?”
It’s a small shift, but what a difference it makes when someone feels truly heard! You’re showing them that their emotions are important, and that they are important.
The Beauty of Validation
Validation takes it a step further, we’re saying, “It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. Given everything that’s happened, it makes perfect sense that you feel this way.”
This doesn’t mean you agree with that person or that you feel the same way. It just means that you have the ability to shift to their perspective, and see that their emotions are understandable and deserve compassion.
Here’s what validating sounds like:
“Of course you’re upset—it’s completely normal to feel that way after working so hard and not seeing the results you hoped for.”
“It makes sense that you’d be frustrated. Anyone in your shoes would feel the same.”
Notice how this isn’t about fixing or minimizing. It’s about allowing someone to have their feelings without judgment. When we validate, we’re creating space for people to just be—and that is so, so powerful.
Why These Skills Matter in Leadership
Imagine you’re giving someone critical feedback, and they’re feeling defensive. Instead of jumping into problem-solving mode, you pause, listen, and say:
“I understand that this feedback feels overwhelming, especially when you’ve put so much effort into this project. I hear you.”
Then you validate:
“It’s completely understandable that you’d feel frustrated. This kind of feedback is tough to hear.”
You’re allowing them to feel their feelings, and you’re not taking things personally.
What happens next? That person starts to relax, because they feel seen. They can move past the initial wave of emotion and into a space where they’re ready to have a real conversation.
And as a leader, that’s where you want to be—meeting people where they are, with empathy and understanding.
How to Use These Skills Everywhere
And here’s the truth: acknowledging and validating are life skills. Imagine how powerful it would be to bring this kind of deep listening and understanding into your personal life—whether it’s with your partner, your kids, or your closest friends.
When we practice these skills authentically, they become a part of who we are. We start to use them everywhere—in every conversation, in every interaction. And what you’ll notice is that your relationships, both at work and in life, become stronger, richer, and more fulfilling.
A Simple Practice That Changes Everything
Next time you’re in a conversation where emotions are running high, try this: stop, breathe, and really listen. Acknowledge what the other person is saying, and then validate their feelings. You don’t have to agree, you don’t have to fix anything—you just have to show up and let them know they matter.
Here’s an example of how it works:
“I’m hearing you say that you’re feeling really overwhelmed right now. Is that right?” (Acknowledging)
“I can understand why you’d feel that way. It’s completely normal to feel exhausted when you’ve been carrying so much.” (Validating)
It’s a small practice, but it’s a game changer. It shows people that their feelings are real, that they have the right to be heard, and that they’re not alone in their experience.
So let’s practice this together. Let’s lead with compassion, understanding, and the kind of presence that makes people feel like they truly belong.
At the end of the day, that’s what we all want—to be seen, heard, and understood.
