Empowerment starts with self compassion
🎉 Welcome to Empowered, the first edition of my newly reimagined newsletter series, designed to help you elevate your career in alignment with your values and vision.
Some of you have expressed the need for a consistent reminder to help you stay motivated and grounded as you navigate your path. So, twice a month, I’ll share actionable insights, heartfelt guidance, and the tools you need to unlock your potential and create meaningful impact, while staying authentic to who you are.
I’m excited to see what’s possible when you step into your power! Let’s dive in!
Empowerment Starts With Self Compassion
One of the hardest truths I’ve come to understand is this: we are often our own worst critics.
I hear it over and over again from clients: “Why can’t I speak up in important meetings? What’s wrong with me?” or “I’m always missing something that everyone else seems to know” or “I just don’t have that ability to work a room like other people.”
I’m sure you can relate. We each have our own version of harsh inner talk, and it often goes unnoticed, like the hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen.
Imagine speaking to a friend or loved one. You wouldn’t say those things, right? Instead, you’d say something like: “Don’t be too hard on yourself, my dear. No one is perfect.”
We expect perfection from ourselves and assume that others are naturally good at presenting to a large crowd, or that they have it all figured out. They don’t. And if they’re really skilled in meetings, it’s because they practiced a lot to strengthen that muscle.
We are all works in progress until our last breath - learning and growing all the time.
To feel truly empowered, the first step is to recognize when we’re judging ourselves.
This is no easy thing. We all have thoughts that make us believe we’re not smart enough, or that we’re missing something.
According to the National Science Foundation, we have between 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day, and 80% of them are negative. We anticipate the worst case scenario in that upcoming presentation, imagining people disagreeing with our ideas, or we beat ourselves up over something we did.
One of the most powerful strategies is to interrupt those automatic, negative mental patterns.
I told my daughters: be like a detective. Give yourself points for each time you catch a mean thing you say to yourself.
That’s how we can break the loop of disempowerment that our fear keeps creating.
Please stop being so hard on yourself
A client said recently said to me that she has a habit if freaking herself out before she gives an important presentation. "I don’t like it, but it works” she said.
It might work in the short term, but it’s not healthy.
Also, your most powerful, inspired, strategic work won't ever be created from a place of fear and judgment.
You need to feel centered to be creative and strategic, so you can think clearly.
There is a lot of body of research that backs this up. The only way to cultivate a sense of calm and safety is to treat yourself in a kind, gentle way - meeting yourself where you are with acceptance and compassion. That’s what self love is.
Brené Brown said it best: “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”
Try this:
The next time you catch yourself in a spiral of self-criticism, pause. Take a deep breath and ask yourself:
A year from now, when I look back on this situation, what will I wish I had done? and
If a good friend were going through this, what would I say to them?
Feel the shift as you see yourself through the lens of self-understanding instead of self-judgment. How does that feel in your body?
There is real power in this practice. True empowerment happens when are present to our full humanity, especially when we feel stretched or triggered. When we are willing to be supportive and real with ourselves.
As you practice this, a new level of confidence, will begin to unfold over time.
You’ll experience what it means to feel empowered.
One last note on this. Self compassion isn’t not something that’s been modeled for most of us growing up, so it might feel awkward at first.
The more your inner skeptic resists this practice, the more you need it. Just begin by treating yourself with the same care you’d give to someone you love.
Remember, the journey to empowerment starts with the small, daily acts of self-compassion. Every time you choose kindness over judgment, you take a step closer to the aligned, fulfilling life—and career—you deserve.
With love and courage 🩷
Ramona
