PARENTS - STAY CURIOUS

This is my teen daughter painting in bed, first thing in the morning. On her white bedsheets. As a parent and coach, I’m deeply aware that the way I interact with my kids, what I say, how I show up, truly shapes in real time their sense of self, who they believe they are, what they can do, what the world around them is like. Truth is - we are conditioning our kids at every interaction. So, parents - no pressure

Is the world a place that can be trusted? Can we trust ourselves to thrive and do what is right for us? Can we make the distinction between what others tell us we should do and what we know we want to do? How much of our true self can we bring out into the world? How should we say no to people? How should we say yes to opportunities that really stretch us? Our own beliefs will directly shape our kids. The tricky thing is this - whether we want to or not, we pass on to the next generation our beliefs, our worries, our mental habits, our hopes.

If you feel triggered as a parent, here’s my recommendation - stay OPEN. Stay CURIOUS, ask questions rather than jumping to advice or criticism. Really BE there, and try to just LISTEN. Listen to the thing behind the thing they’re taking about. Listen for their fears. Listen for their values. Give them space to process their frustrations.

Is this easy? Hell, no. Will you still feel angry? Of course!! Let’s just establish that no parent has it all figured out. We’re all learning by doing it, and we tweak things and adapt to things and we’re all going to be ok. But we can make things easier on us and our kids if we practice showing up with kindness and compassion to ourselves to start with. That will make it easier to have empathy for our kids.

They’ll feel trusted when they’re allowed to make choices. They’ll feel empowered to choose what’s right for them. And maybe they’ll choose to do art in bed before school starts, and that’s ok