TRANSFORMATION (PART 5)

As I see myself in this new stage of my life, as I witness this my new version of me, despite myself, I feel truly like I have arrived. It’s strange.

Like after hustling to get a ticket to a bus, you stay in line, you wait and you’re not sure you can ever get where you want to go. The chance to get half way there seems like a good destination, and yet in the process you admit to yourself that you won’t stop there, and you will keep going.

The destination is not clear, but you know where you’re at is not it.

I felt this way when I transitioned to being a freelancer. I knew I was no longer willing to tolerate the corporate imprisonment and wanted to work independently so I can work from home, be with my kids, work less hours, and start writing my Happiness book.

My deeper, unspoken desire was to experience the freedom of not having a boss, of no longer wasting my time doing a job that despite being interesting, appealing, and well paid, became uninspiring and eventually soul sucking. The freedom to set my own hours overpowered the financial fluctuation and the unsettling feeling of lack of security.

I thought I couldn’t be any happier. Yet deep down I felt layers of awareness and self awareness ever growing. A year ago I had no idea I would be now a paid leadership coach. I thought I’d write my happiness book. Now, surprisingly, the book is on hold and my goals are less about the future and more about the right now.

I used to think of my week as clearly divided between putting up with teeth-grinding corporate work so I can sustain the family expenses. Now the teeth grinding soul sucking work has been completely expelled from my system.

I’m now doing soul soothing and soul growing work. I can’t believe I get paid to listen to people’s stories, acknowledging their feelings, hopes, and desires. I get to motivate them and cheer them on as their overturn their personal life and business.

I’m in awe that this state of mind of contentment exists. I’m here to attest to the beauty of this place, and to gather the energy within me that is fueled by helping others.

I experience the powerful truth that only when we take care of ourselves, when we take seriously our talents and dreams, we are most ready and able to create what we’re here to create, and to help empower others in the process.