WHAT A YEAR!

This was a **full** year, dotted equally with dark times when least expected, and brilliant moments with family and friends. What would a year be, or any time in our lives for that matter, without the dark and challenging times that eventually give birth to new possibilities and new beginnings!

This year I’ve spent time studying and practicing the craft of happiness. I developed a better sense of what happiness is. I can conjure it and befriend it more often and more clearly than before.

People seem to talk about and be interested in happiness more than before, or is it just me? As a devotee and practicer of happiness, here is is how I came to think about it in the past year.

Happiness is our innate, endless ability to experience joy.

Joy that comes from walking mindfully rather than thinking about when will the walk be over, or what we will eat or do when we've arrived.

Joy is born out of wisdom.

Wisdom that comes from intuitively knowing how to enjoy all things we do, how to derive joy from monotonous or habitual tasks like cleaning or chopping vegetables for a soup.

Wisdom that comes from experiencing sadness without panicking like the time when my child didn’t get into the performing arts high school of her choice.

Wisdom that comes from self-awareness of what gets us moving, and what hurts our feelings, such as when we have specific or unrealistic expectations from others. Wisdom that comes from learning about our self blocks, from paying attention at times when our soul hardens, when our body stiffens, and at times when our soul softens, and our body relaxes.

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I’ve been teaching my 10 and 14 year old kids that no people are just bad or good. That every single person in the world has within them the possibility to do both good and bad things, and they practice one or the other more depending on how they are nourished and what personal circumstances and experiences they go through. This simple truth has helped their understanding of the world. Our girls have been able to be less affected by mean remarks of put downs from other kids at school. Understanding that people are not simply mean, but that suffering causes them to act mean, helped the kids build a sense of compassion that replaced the seeds of hatred, and to build the seeds of self-esteem. They might not love the kids who might be mean to them sometimes, but they are learning that compassion feels better hatred, and that love is the way to grow into the best human being they can be. Self esteem is built at an early age, and it relies heavily on ability to be strong without putting others down, to recognize goodness in self and in others, to be compassionate and kind with self and others. Positive attitudes make one charming, and helps us make new friendships, and deepen existing ones.

This year my kids have experienced a new sense of mortality. They told me sometimes at bedtime that they fear what will happen to them if I die. My ten year old told me she’s sad thinking that I will die one day. Guided by my intuition, I told her what I felt from the bottom of my heart that we’ll always be together. “But how will I know it’s you when I see you after we die?” she asked me. “The same way you know now.” I told her that we’ve always been together. “How else can you explain the instant love we had for one other from the moment you were born?”. We both felt in our hearts that this was true. These are the types of questions we listen deep into our hearts for answers. We don’t joke about them or avoid them. We look at them and we seek inner wisdom to answer them.

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One of the areas I’ve made the most progress on is that of honesty. Sincere thoughts, sincere actions, are pillars of wisdom, joy, and happiness. It sounds easy and it actually is easy, but is something we often lose sight of. When I’ve been asked for help or advice this year, my answer has been simply “be honest”. It sounds simple but being honest implies that we go deep and get clarifications about our feelings, motives, and fears. Being honest means listening to our true feelings about a situation, and that leads to reaching our true selves, our center, and our wise self. The practice of honesty for me has lead to more peace and contentment, and a stronger foundation of self.

Overall, this year I’ve been practicing the art of being happy. I conjured it in train rides, out running, walking with my kids. I imagined seeing my husband or kids for the first time, and marveled at my luck to be around them.

I wish you all a year dotted with wisdom, joy, and happiness! My your dreams surface to reality!