SMALL STEPS IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION
This morning I pulled the scale from under the bed and dusted it off. I stepped onto it, something I haven't done in a while - probably since before Christmas. I was surprised to see that I gained four pounds since I last looked at the scale.
My old self would first panic, then set up a very aggressive plan (like lose 4 lbs in one month) which is theoretically doable. I would device a plan which would undoubtedly add a lot of stress and restrictions. A short term fix, an overly aggressive plan, would end up fueling my fears that I can't achieve what I set to do. I would feel bad with myself. Worse, I would feel like a failure.
My new self didn't panic, because I know how to do this. I devised a simple, tried and true plan to lose the 4 lbs over the next 3 months, by doing what I know is the right thing to do: get back to making green smoothies with kale, ginger, banana and almonds every morning, refrain from eating sweets at night, and drinking more water throughout the day. Also, I'll get up on Sunday mornings to add one more exercising day to my week. I can achieve my goal with GENTLE STUBBORNNESS. I now know that in order to achieve my goals I have to make a plan that is both (1) effective at achieving my goal, while at the same time (2) actionable on the LONG TERM. I hear a lot about setting aggressive plans, but the truth is we rarely stick to aggressive plans on the long run.
Over the last 4 months now I've been interviewing people for the happiness research I'm working on. As part of the research, I ask people to share with me two stories. One is about a happy story - a time when they were brave and stubborn, overcame obstacles, and ultimately achieved what they wished for. The second story is a story that's not so happy - one when despite trying hard, they didn't achieve what they wished for. Both stories give me a good sense of the steps that people take to achieve their goals, of what works, and what doesn't. People tell me different stories, ranging from career moves to personal relationships. One thing that I noticed so far is that in the stories of success, people intuitively set up plans they strongly believe in, and they go through the steps.
The key to remember is that all good things that are worth achieving do take time. Everyone I interview tells me a story where they wanted something badly. Some wanted to move to a big city, to get a good job, to get into a grad program, others to make a relationship work, to start a company, to open a new theatre, etc. In retrospect, they are amazed at how they did it. They all have in common at least one thing: they were committed, had a plan, and were willing to stick with it in the long run. They could envision the path, they had a rough idea of the big steps to take. They were aware that they're at the beginning, and they took the FIRST STEP in the direction of their dream.
Big goals are important. But perhaps even more important is awareness of the work that it takes to get there. We're putting in work for many things on a daily basis. We know how to do it. What we need to do is to take that first, baby step, in the RIGHT DIRECTION. The direction of our dream.
Taking that first step in the right direction feels so good. Take that big goal and divide it into small, actionable steps. Once you take that first step, you feel excited, hopeful. Take that second step. Pretty soon, you'll feel a bit of momentum building. I've noticed while working in big corporations over the last 15 years or so that people don't believe at first in aggressive corporate annual goals. A CEO with good leadership skills often is able to inspire them to take the steps needed to move forward. But what really ends up making a difference is the FIRST SMALL WIN. Seeing the results is what keeps us going. Seeing that our actions trigger even the smallest successes is what REALLY motivates us. And we keep going.
So- think about your big dream, but even more importantly, take your time devising small but clear steps. Just knowing you're working toward your goal feels so good. Your goal should become those small steps that lead to consistent, incremental progress. I need to lose 4 lbs over the next 3 months - that's less than a pound per month. THAT I can do. 4 lbs is overwhelming. 1 lb is not.
