THE BIG QUESTIONS
Ever since I set to understand what is happiness, I found myself with one intuitive answer, and many questions. I've done my homework to uncover what others think about happiness. I read countless articles and books on this topic, listened to interviews with psychologists and successful people, talked to friends and coworkers, watched documentaries. I also personally interviewed 21 people so far.
After all this work, my intuition tells me that aside from the "basics" like having health, and a relationship/community, the biggest source of both happiness and lack of it, is our job/ career choice. By far, this seems to be the biggest driver of whether we feel we have a good quality of life and a sense or well being, or whether we feel our life has no meaning or purpose.
The many questions I still have are...
- How do I know what IS the right job/career for me?
- Should I even wonder what is the right job for me, or I'm better off focusing on finding out what my strengths are, or what I'm good at? Or, should I really become more aware of what makes me curious, or happy, and maybe that's the path I should take?
- And if I think about the latter, should I even look for a job that fits with my passion? Or, maybe making money is one thing, while what makes me passionate is another thing, and the two shouldn't be mixed?
- Is it even realistic to expect that a good job should not only pay my bills but should also make me feel satisfied and fulfilled?
- How many people are lucky enough out there who are 1) aware of what they're passionate/good at, and 2) making a living doing what they love?
Common, these are HUGE questions, but I have been haunted by these more than I've been wondering whether there is an afterlife. Both are huge questions. But for some reason I'm at peace with the second question, and still wrestle with the first set.
After asking myself these questions and tiring all my friends, I decided to turn tables on fate. I decided to accept the challenge, and to no longer push these questions aside with frustration. I decided to make my life's purpose to answer them. I've started doing this purely out of my own curiosity, but my continuous drive has gradually been fueled by the desire to inspire and educate my kids. The questions above become a lot more real and urgent when it comes to guiding my own kids.
So here is where I stand today based on my intuition, reading, and interviewing people first hand:
(1) It's difficult and it takes a lot of self-education and self-discipline to find out who we are as individuals, and what our unique talents are. I've learned that there are important tools to help us here: books, courses, and questionnaires; habits like meditation and self introspection.
(2) There are two groups of people: those who find out at an early age what their "talents" are, or what they love to do, and they stick with it no matter what (like scientists or artists), and those who have many interests but not one single dominating "talent" or passion.
(3) People in the second group (which #ElizabethGilbert calls "hummingbirds" because they cheerfully go from tree to tree) have a harder time finding and sticking with a career, and are more likely to be dissatisfied - I include myself in this category.
(4) It takes a lot of both openness and will for both groups of people to find a way to have a career path that both pays the bills and is satisfying.
(5) A small percentage of people are able to go all the way, to find their passion, to find a way to make a living out of it, and who excel at it.
I came to believe through observing my career choices and performance, that we get "clues" along the way. Personally, I was encouraged to go the traditional, business career path, and it has served me well financially. It also taught me to make smart practical decisions, to aim high, to determine the drivers and barriers in the way of my goals, and to make strategic choices. It also eventually earned me a somewhat financial freedom which is not to say I'm rich in any way, but I do feel free to step out of a corporate job because of the real estate investments I made. HOWEVER, I know many, many, many people who, like me, don't feel satisfied or happy in their hearts of hearts. Yes, my ego is all set. But, in my heart of hearts, I know I could not be happy at the end of the day or end of my life with simply making a living, or satisfying my ego. In my heart of hearts, I am deeply aware that I have a story to tell, that I have a unique combination of talents and super-power that no one else really does. As do all of us. I want something more for myself and my kids. I want something different.
I want to tell my 8 and 12 year old daughters that we each have our own path, our own unique purpose, and our own story to tell. So maybe the easiest thing is to start with the end. What story do you want to be able to tell to your great grandkids? What are the choices that would make your life more interesting, more exciting? I'm in my 40s and honestly don't believe there is age bracket or limit in which we are able to make changes. So - what is it that we desire deep down, if we removed the lenses of cynicism, hopelessness, and even practicality? What is it that it would make us tick? What is it that we're so interested in or so curious in that we would pursue even if there was no way at the moment to make a living out of it? For me, after all these years, it's one thing - asking questions and writing about what I'm finding out. The question I had 2 years ago was: how would it be to leave everything behind and go back to Romania for a year off with my family? what would happen? how would that change my life? Somehow, I did it. We took off in June 2014, and got back a year later. I'm now slowly, painfully, excitedly, writing about that story, gosh darn it, and I'll finish that book by end of this year!
#love #life #happiness
