The Upper Limit Problem - May Newsletter
I want to share with you the concept of the Upper Limit Problem, a gem explored in depth by Gay Hendricks in his book The Big Leap.
Imagine this: we each have an internal thermostat, a baseline for how much success, creativity, and joy we allow into our lives.
When we get too close to the upper limit of that thermostat, we self-sabotage to cool things down.
This happens in every area of our lives—from our careers to our relationships.
There are three facets of the Upper Limit Problem:
1 - Self Sabotage: I used to shut down my own dreams and ignored good advice from my intuition for years.
Self sabotage can manifest as procrastinating (how often do we reflect on our vision for a fulfilling career?), avoiding conflict, or sticking to safe choices (deep down we doubt we deserve real success and abundance).
2 - Fear of Success: The fear that we can’t sustain success or that there’s something fundamentally wrong with us.
Our inner critic whispers that even if we land that dream job, we won’t be able to handle it. Or, when we do succeed, it tells us it was just a fluke, and the other shoe will inevitably drop.
3 - Comfort Zone: We gravitate back to what feels familiar, even if it’s not serving our aspirations. Stepping beyond these boundaries triggers our fear response.
Those deeply buried feelings of insecurity create long lasting disempowering stories and hold us back from stretching into our Genius Zone.
BTW if you’d like to identify your Genius Zone, let me know, and I’ll send you a worksheet.
Here are 3 ways to break through the glass ceiling you’ve unconsciously created:
✨ Uncover your patterns of self-sabotage
Can you recall a time when you were on the verge of a breakthrough but then something stopped you? What happened?
For example, maybe you were about to present to an important senior leadership group but procrastinated on the preparation.
Or, you got an opportunity to interview for a role that stretches you, and you told yourself you wouldn’t get, focusing on the skills you lack rather than on your strengths.
When you think about reaching your next level of success, what doubts come up?
For example, ‘I’m not ready yet’, or ‘I don’t have what it takes’, or ‘I don’t have the right support, the right connections, the right conviction, the right decision making tools to make it happen’.
How do you react to compliments or positive feedback about your work?
For example, you might come up with an excuse about why it’s not a big deal, or feel uncomfortable just saying ‘Thank you for saying that, I appreciate it’.
✨ Take a few deep breaths (PQ reps) and validate yourself with self compassion: Sit with the part of you that’s afraid and offer it compassion.
For example, ‘No wonder I’m worried about growing into the next level—I’ve never been there before. It’s okay to feel a bit scared. May I be gentle with myself as I learn and grow.’
I like to put my hand on my heart and whisper ‘I’ve got you. You’re safe. I love you. We’ll be ok.’
✨ Shift our mindset: From a place of self-compassion and understanding, you can gently start stepping out of your comfort zone.
Challenge your limiting beliefs and reframe them with empowering alternatives by asking yourself: ‘What’s the gift in this situation? What am I learning? How am I being brave?’
What steps can you take today to begin pushing past these limits?
👉🏼 If you hold back from speaking up in important meetings, or you are not reaching out to network despite knowing that it’s the right thing to do, speak up, reach out to connect. Don’t let your fear stop you. Every time you bravely step out of your comfort zone you strengthen your confidence and leadership skills.
👉🏼 If you expect immediate success in a new role, be patient and open to your learning curve. Give yourself the grace to grow.
👉🏼 If you constantly compare your journey to others, focus on your unique strengths and path. Your journey is unique; you are here to express your own unique purpose and Zone of Genius at your own pace.
Growth and transformation are like tending to a delicate garden—they require patience, commitment, and love.
Interestingly, these are the ingredients that fuel your willingness to face the unknown.
Here’s the tough part, you guys: each new level of growth demands that we confront our fears and insecurities head-on. That’s the price of admission to this journey of becoming our most empowered selves.
But here’s the beautiful part I constantly experience in my own life: every time we step out of our comfort zone, we start to see that we’re a lot more powerful than we thought we were.
Each step forward builds momentum, and new possibilities show up in the most unexpected places.
🩷 Here’s to breaking through beyond our upper limits!
