Newsletter November '22
Hello, you beeeeautiful human!
First off, how are you doing with Thanksgiving preparations? If you’re not nearly ready, please know this - you are not alone.
In all my coaching sessions yesterday, no one was ready for the holidays. Schools are off (clients’ kiddos made regular appearances in coaching sessions this week) yet work keeps moving as fast as ever, plus you’ve got year-end evaluations and strategic planning to finish up, so no wonder you’re not ready.
I’m not ready either but I’m so excited to soon turn my attention to cooking, lighting candles, turning up the volume on some Brazilian music (I’ve been loving this Curumin album lately).
Writing to you is my favorite way to procrastinate chores, who am I kidding?
Let me start by telling you what i’m hearing in coaching sessions.
I hear a consistent “I really want to make time for my own wellbeing” and “I don’t know how to slow down when everyone around me works around the clock”.
I get really excited when my clients bring their wellbeing into focus. It means they’re growing into the next stage of confidence, true leadership, and are on their way to realizing their true potential.
Quick story.
Jane (not her real name), an executive at a large corporation and one of my long term clients, has been working with me to create and stick to a day to day schedule that’s aligned with her values and her unique zone of genius (btw those of you currently taking my IOLA leadership program, will soon work on identifying what your own genius space is!)
Jane did her homework: took an inventory of what she does in a given week, color coded her calendar to see what energizes her, then prioritized her work mindfully.
Since we’ve been working together, she stopped attending unimportant standing meetings, redesigned her job to reflect her unique skills, all without getting stuck in overwork.
Jane mused in a recent coaching session “is it actually possible to grow, add value, and drive ambitious initiatives, while also maintaining the quality of life I am working so hard to create?”.
She added - “I don’t know a single executive who has both a good career and a good life balance”.
At the end of our session, she shared an insight - “I guess if I don’t see examples of work life balance at my level, I gotta create it’.
Let me underscore her point:
work-life balance is raaaaare.
And:
your team, your org, and even your clients, can benefit from you stepping up and modeling work-life balance behaviors.
Here’s are some examples of work-life balance behaviors:
… pushing back on recurring meetings where you’re not actually needed
… declining meetings that occur after 5 PM (one of my clients, a single mom, recently began to opt out of non-crucial global meetings happening at 8PM !!, which allowed her to start having dinner with her two little boys)
… telling your team that you’re working on that last minute project on Monday, and NOT the weekend.
It’s the norm to overwork and hustle and ignore your body’s cues to rest and restore.
That is actually why I am convinced we’re going to see significant shifts in the direction of wellness, to counter the burnout culture.
For reals.
I mean - the self-care culture is no longer a fad. We’re all eating salads, quinoa, chia seeds, drinking green detox juices, going to yoga, meditation, sound bath retreats (I attended an amazing one last week, organized by Palma Colectiva).
Yet resting (as in - signing off at 5PM, sleeping at least 7 hours, breathing mindfully) is still counter-cultural.
As David Whyte, beautiful poet and philosopher says:
“the antidote to exhaustion is not rest, but wholeheartedness.”
It takes courage to live wholeheartedly, as Brene Brown preaches.
I was really excited to see the U.S. Surgeon General release their recent Framework for Mental Health & Well-Being in the Workplace, which truly echoes what I personally hear in coaching sessions.
Recently a client said he’s considering leaving his job because he’s not seeing enough opportunities for growth - “I don’t want to feel stuck. I want to feel like I continue to learn. Otherwise, why am I here?”
Others tell me how deeply motivated they are by having the sense that their work matters - “seeing how my work actually creates goodness and has an impact on helping others succeed makes me feel so good”.
Having a sense of meaning in our work is the ultimate everlasting fuel for intrinsic motivation.
I’ve been thinking about this - how do you actually go about doing more of the kind of work that feels meaningful?
How do you achieve actual work-life harmony, given that we don’t see a lot of good examples around?
I think it comes down to these practical things:
identifying what about your work actually energizes you
doing more of that energy-giving work
communicating effectively and holding your boundaries.
Speaking doing work that energizes.
This morning on my morning run (today I headed to Butterfly beach - still pinching myself that I live here!) I remembered a recent conversation where a friend said “I love my life. It’s not an easy life, but it’s a great life”. She definitely does not have an easy life as a single mom and entrepreneur.
Hearing her say it made me realize that I too absolutely love my life, even though I’ve been deeply challenged in the past year, particularly on the parenting front (those teen years though!). Every single coaching session is a source of energy and purpose. The joy I feel fills my heart to the brim.
As I’m signing off, I want to leave you with this encouragement.
The real magic of life is about recommitting to our own joy every single day. There is no limit to what we can create when we open up to the flow of our own wellbeing.
Last but definitely not least! As you scroll through emails and ads with offers for Black Friday, consider investing in coaching.
Some of you asked if I can offer one-off sessions, or for your partner to get a taste of the coaching support you’re getting.
Without further ado, here are my Black Friday offerings:
(deals expire Friday at midnight PT, sessions can be booked through Jan 2023):
Personal Strategic Planning - 90 mins
hands on guidance to clarify and set your 2023 goals, create a blueprint of where you want to focus on next, identify what might be holding you back. Book it now for $497.
Gift to partner/friend - 60 mins
give the gift of coaching. He/she/they work toward a goal, or troubleshoot a challenge. Book it now for $325.
Happiness coaching - 60 mins
this is how I started coaching, my favorite topic! I’ll prompt you through my proprietary 4Cs Connect Model framework (mind-body/work/relationships/nature). Book it now for $325.
That’s it!
Sending big hugs to you and yours,
Ramona
