HEALTHY ENTITLEMENT

The concept of entitlement is negatively charged, and I observe in coaching sessions that women leaders in particular suffer from lack of it.

I actually encourage women leaders who hold back on asking for what they need, to be MORE entitled.

Psychologists call this "healthy entitlement", meaning acknowledging that it's ok to pursue our needs and wants.

Why is this important?

When you don’t feel entitled to get support, to delegate, to say no to extra work when you're already overwhelmed, or to take care of yourself, two things can happen.

Either you don’t ask for them and end up doing everything for everyone; or you do allude to what you need but nobody listens because deep down you don’t believe you have a right to ask.

Cultivating a healthy entitlement is essential in self growth.

Disentitled leaders come across as kind and cooperative, and of course, that behavior is rewarded. What I'm hearing in coaching sessions is frustration. Deep down, they feel that they have no right ask for what they want.

If you feel worried that you're asking for too much from your boss, your company, think again.

Ask yourself - who is benefitting from you holding back on what you want?

And who could benefit from you having clarity about your needs and wants?

Who could benefit from you following through on your wants? Not least of which, as women leaders, we are a model for our teams and our children.

What you can do:

Start by asking for things you want to but don't normally ask for. This could be pushing back on a meeting you know you won't benefit from.

Be kind to yourself in the process. Self compassion is key to guiding yourself through any change, particularly inner change.