THE DOWNSIDE OF SUMMER VACATION
How was your summer break? How did it feel when you returned? Did that feeling of rejuvenation last? Anyone felt bummed to be back to normal life?
I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. I was really bummed. The first two weeks back in San Francisco were dark and gray, reflecting the chilly weather outside. Getting back with a stomach bug we caught in the plane, returning to our busy routine, soul-centering, getting back to my habitual happy mindset was tougher than usual.
It crossed my mind and eventually acknowledged the odd concept that there seem to be a downside to having an awesome, long vacation. The depth of frustration upon returning from vacation is directly proportional with the depth of happiness and freedom we felt while away. We spent an entire week at the Black Sea, a week at my parents farm seeing lot of friends and family, and a week on the beach of Naxos, Greece, all of which was pure heaven.
From the depths of gloominess, I started to climb my way out. I got back to my HAPPINESS TOOLKIT. I cooked nourishing meals and organized our house, donating 6 large garbage bags of clothes, 4 of which were just from my closet, inspired by MARIE KONDO's amazing book, The life-changing magic of tidying up. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it - she's right, her method will change your life for good. I made a point to go back to all my favorite San Francisco spots: Ocean beach, Bernal Hill, my favorite cafe, visiting with my favorite people and neighbors. I listened to meditation talks by Thich Nhat Hanh, one of my favorite interviews with Liz Gilbert, journaled daily, started meditating, and... arrived back to my center. Two weeks of disciplined work and I feel consistent joy again. Happiness is a skill, and it can be learned! More on this on a separate post.
One thing I noticed is the importance of acknowledging our negative emotions. Disappointed to be back from vacation? That's ok. You're a human being who wants to play more. Don't want to go back to your old routine? That's ok. You might even consider changing your routine by adding something you enjoyed this vacation. (After our vacation, I've been making the traditional Greek salad of tomatoes, cucumbers, red onion, feta cheese, and good olive oil, every day.)
Accepting negative emotions actually helps our psychological health. Any action has a opposite reaction. Whether it's about the summer vacation being over, or something else, if we think "I shouldn't feel the way I'm feeling", we need to take a sharp turn and acknowledge and embrace those feelings. Being hard on ourselves, FEELING BAD ABOUT FEELING BAD, leads to lower levels of psychological well-being, according to a new study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
“It turns out that how we approach our own negative emotional reactions is really important for our overall well-being,” said study lead author Brett Ford, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Toronto. “People who accept these emotions without judging or trying to change them are able to cope with their stress more successfully.”
Here's to awareness and acceptance of all our feelings. Here's to returning to oneness.
